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The Great Indian Tamasha!!!

17 Jul

It was year 2013 AD. It was the century where Indians stopped charming the snakes and started charming the mouse. The nation of mouse charmers was on the verge of becoming a super power. But the corrupt politicians were not letting it become one.

The mouse charming Indians thought: the only solution for this plague is the Prime Minister of Twitter. He is the same guy who declared that “India is no longer a country of snake charmers. Its a country of mouse charmers” and hence he became famous. His name was Marendra Nodi. Mr Nodi was very popular on Twitter for his alleged role in communal riots, extra-judicial killings, authoritarian and polarizing nature and for his lies.

India was gearing up for a general elections. The principal opposition party was mulling the decision to declare the next Prime Minister of India. While all this was going on, Marendra Nodi was going from one college to another to deliver inspiring speeches and secure his position as the next PM candidate.

One such meeting was scheduled in the city of Deccan. Marendra Nodi boarded one of his favorite Boeings that ferried 15000 people in one single day. (He loves this Boeing for getting him the title “Rambo”).

While Mr Nodi was on his way to the city, his followers came up with a unique idea. They declared that their leader will be revealing his latest discovery and hence people have to pay Rs 5 each to hear him. The idea was so unique that all the mouse charmers started praising him on social media for coming up with such a great idea.

When Mr Nodi arrived at the Airport, his followers arranged for a car to ferry him from Airport to the college. While he was on his way to college, his car ran over a puppy and Marendra Nodi felt very bad about the death of Puppy.

Finally, he arrived at the college where all his followers and mouse charmers and few puppies were eagerly waiting for him to reveal his latest discovery.

Marendra Nodi started speaking. “Mitron, I am here today to tell you that the Sun rises in the West. But the ruling party is hiding this fact in their Burqas. We have to spread this message to nooks and corners of this country.”

The entire auditorium broke into applause. Then he said, “As long as we have this ruling party in power, they will never allow us to realize that the sun rises in West”.

All the Nodi-bhakts applauded their leader for coming up with such a brilliant discovery. He finished his speech and went back to his country of Gujarat in the same Boeing plane.

The media started sensationalizing the discovery. All the news channels were allotting the prime-time slots to debate whether “Sun rises in the West” or Mr Nodi was bluffing just like his previous discoveries.

And all the Nodi-bhakts were busy explaining “Nodiji is trying to point at the paradigm shift in the dynamics of the world. He didn’t mean to say that the sun rises in the west”.

Then one Nodi-bhakt by name Madhu Mausi claimed “Mr.Nodiji was referring to planet Venus. The polar axis of Venus is tilted to an angle of 178 degrees which means it is effectively upside down compared to Earth. As such it appears to rotate in the opposite direction. If it was possible to see the Sun from the surface of Venus, then you would see the Sun rise in the west and set in the east.”. This was a brilliant statement to justify Mr Nodi’s discovery. All the mouse-charmers retweeted her tweets and Kanchan Aunty used the same logic to defend Mr Nodi at prime-time.

The ruling party was pushed into a corner. They had to come on national media and explain how Mr.Nodi was making a fool out of himself. They sent Mr.Thashi Sharoor and Mr.Sanjay Maken to call Mr.Nodi a bluff. They explained how the PR agency APCO has fudged the facts and fooled the nation.

While all this was going on, the team of APCO was busy lobbying to change the school text books and update the facts that the sun rises in the west.

Mr.Nodi neither defended his discovery nor did he deny it.

Finally, the mouse-charmers started believing that the sun rises in the West and they happily lived ever after.

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9 Comments

Posted by on July 17, 2013 in Others

 

9 responses to “The Great Indian Tamasha!!!

  1. sumitkashyapjha

    July 18, 2013 at 2:51 pm

    Ha ha ha … Then came 2014 AD… People of tge great nation casted their votes. Mr. Nodi with Mousi and others, got into the same Rambo Boeing and left for venus where Sun use to rise in west.

     
  2. Dr.Azher Husain

    July 18, 2013 at 4:09 pm

    had a nice time reading !. nice1 dude

     
  3. kabir awadhi

    July 18, 2013 at 6:17 pm

    this should be not just shared but spread by all congressis

     
  4. Krissyedu

    July 20, 2013 at 5:30 am

    satyam eva jayate!! only the truth will survive…rest of allegations will be washed away by the tide called time.

     
  5. sharath

    July 23, 2013 at 12:49 am

    are you sure its Modi who reminds you of your religion or is it congress on daily basis? If not the help of religion can they even stand to something called individuality & leadership. You call us Modi bhakts – 10 years back – most of us did not even know him, just like the Tendulkars, Dhirubhai when they rose by pure talent- 10 years from now, I am sure I will move on from Modi to someone else while you will be waiting for Rahul baba to be married or a Vadra donated to Gandhi.

    How about you guys – you expect leadership to come from family hierarchy. How much have you guys reformed and saved the party from its dictatorly ways or even running a party on brand “Gandhi” feeding on peoples regressive mood.

    And what about Congress bhakts (would you mind if I call puppies of Congress) who would continue to support a president that literally hijacked the biggest indian party to be its president in a Hitlerly fashion for almost 17 years now, do you have guys even have the guts to go out stand and fight an internal election instead of taking whatever is offered, reform the party first. Before Independence – we had a new congress president every year – today its a property of Gandhis.

    Guys like you are the most communal ones – because you vote and support congress on only one basis – religion. Its a fact that abused would trust the abuser the most than rest of the world because abuser could get to your pulse.

    Equality comes from producing value and experiencing services that you as an individual deserve. Nationality comes from your identity and culture. The religion Hindu”ism” is filled Ram, Krishna, shiva, vishnu, buddha, Allah, God and many more baba bhakts. I am a polytheist and nothing can change that even if there are 10’s of Modi or Gandhis- thats the identity of this nation.

    Anybody who is devaluing rupee is the biggest criminal worse than any terrorist. Terrorist might impact 100’s people at once but these croony capitalists and rogue politicians who thrive on our weaknesses like religion, poverty and region would create more differences. They create artificial economies, become demigods and influence your mind. To help people progress doesn’t mean you would handover cash – rather you would mentor, allow them to take risks, dont control innovation, setup infrastructure and create better market conditions with equal opportunity that people can live independently. An example is rural employment scheme – today you have more farmers quitting agriculture as a career. The 800 odd pension is of not any value that it had 5 years back. Congress successfully has kept the poor a poor. Even with all good intentions – socialism is the worst philosophy to have. BJP wants and desires strong individuals – if you undermine human effort (Dharma, artha, kama & moksha) as nation we all fail – just not me or just not you. Only economics and capitalism (not the croony capitalism of socialists) has the power to equal all – because your success is measured with productivity in an equal market condition and competition. Market doesnt see a Vaishnavaite in me or Muslim in you – it just sees who makes better products and services. Market only to win – it take Irfan pathan when reqd, yousuf pathan, a zaheer khan when reqd unlike 1 muslim quota, 2 south, 2 north, 2 east, 2 west.

    We send 4000 best brains to IIT and they come out averagers, cowardly afraid to take any risks. They runaway from this nation for enterprising companies that respect their intellect instead of serving this nation. Our Medical doctors become somewhat better than nurses – originally they are supposed to research on practices, diagnosis and medicines – rather they are a C team of American innovation.

    Ask yourself the role of govt – should they sell bus tickets, should they factories (reservations and more ills), should they run schools (then why are we going private), should they restaurants (jayalalitha in chennai – someday will be nationalised), should they run universities (US govt is much richer and doesnt run even one university) – if govt does all this, what are we people supposed to do – just buy things and sell things. We need leaders and risk takers who dont depend on govt salaries to do these things.

    India as a country is failing its producers (farmers and manufacturers) and currency problems are ahead unless we have a great agriculture season.

     
    • Ali Hussaini

      July 23, 2013 at 12:16 pm

      Dear Sharath,

      Here is my reply to the points raised by you:

      are you sure its Modi who reminds you of your religion or is it congress on daily basis? If not the help of religion can they even stand to something called individuality & leadership. You call us Modi bhakts – 10 years back – most of us did not even know him, just like the Tendulkars, Dhirubhai when they rose by pure talent- 10 years from now, I am sure I will move on from Modi to someone else while you will be waiting for Rahul baba to be married or a Vadra donated to Gandhi.

      1. Neither Modi nor Congress remind me of my religion. Neither parties cannot sustain their politics without capitalizing on politics of victimhood. I suggest you read my previous blog https://syedshahalihussaini.wordpress.com/2013/07/08/the-politics-of-victimhood/
      2. Before Godhra, Modi was a nobody. just another BJP leader. But BJP and Sangh made him a hero after the state sponsored pogrom of Godhra where a particular community was targeted. If he was not involved in riots, Sangh would have never made him a hero.
      3. I am not a congress supporter nor I endorse Rahul Gandhi. If I oppose BJP/Modi, it doesnt make me a congress supporter. And if you are assuming that I support Congress because I am a muslim, then I would say: you are going by typical sanghi logic “Whoever opposes BJP is sickular and congress supporter”.

      How about you guys – you expect leadership to come from family hierarchy. How much have you guys reformed and saved the party from its dictatorly ways or even running a party on brand “Gandhi” feeding on peoples regressive mood.

      1. I am not sure whom are you referring to when you say “you guys”. I make it clear again: I am not a part of Congress party.

      And what about Congress bhakts (would you mind if I call puppies of Congress) who would continue to support a president that literally hijacked the biggest indian party to be its president in a Hitlerly fashion for almost 17 years now, do you have guys even have the guts to go out stand and fight an internal election instead of taking whatever is offered, reform the party first. Before Independence – we had a new congress president every year – today its a property of Gandhis.

      1. You are free to call congress supporters the way you want. And regarding Indira Gandhi or Emergency, every Indian has the same opinion.

      Guys like you are the most communal ones – because you vote and support congress on only one basis – religion. Its a fact that abused would trust the abuser the most than rest of the world because abuser could get to your pulse.

      1. You are calling me communal because I wrote a satire on Modi. Thats typical Sanghi Logic. I know what Congress has done in the name of religion and what BJP has done.

      Equality comes from producing value and experiencing services that you as an individual deserve. Nationality comes from your identity and culture. The religion Hindu”ism” is filled Ram, Krishna, shiva, vishnu, buddha, Allah, God and many more baba bhakts. I am a polytheist and nothing can change that even if there are 10′s of Modi or Gandhis- thats the identity of this nation.

      1. I could not understand if you were questioning my nationality here or you were raising doubts on my patriotism. I am confused.

      Anybody who is devaluing rupee is the biggest criminal worse than any terrorist. Terrorist might impact 100′s people at once but these croony capitalists and rogue politicians who thrive on our weaknesses like religion, poverty and region would create more differences. They create artificial economies, become demigods and influence your mind. To help people progress doesn’t mean you would handover cash – rather you would mentor, allow them to take risks, dont control innovation, setup infrastructure and create better market conditions with equal opportunity that people can live independently. An example is rural employment scheme – today you have more farmers quitting agriculture as a career. The 800 odd pension is of not any value that it had 5 years back. Congress successfully has kept the poor a poor. Even with all good intentions – socialism is the worst philosophy to have. BJP wants and desires strong individuals – if you undermine human effort (Dharma, artha, kama & moksha) as nation we all fail – just not me or just not you. Only economics and capitalism (not the croony capitalism of socialists) has the power to equal all – because your success is measured with productivity in an equal market condition and competition. Market doesnt see a Vaishnavaite in me or Muslim in you – it just sees who makes better products and services. Market only to win – it take Irfan pathan when reqd, yousuf pathan, a zaheer khan when reqd unlike 1 muslim quota, 2 south, 2 north, 2 east, 2 west.

      1. I agree with you. ANy politician involved in corruption is a criminal, whether he is from Congress or from BJP. We have failed as a nation because we have been supporting communal guys and endorsing their hatred. I am against reservation based on religion or caste or creed.

      We send 4000 best brains to IIT and they come out averagers, cowardly afraid to take any risks. They runaway from this nation for enterprising companies that respect their intellect instead of serving this nation. Our Medical doctors become somewhat better than nurses – originally they are supposed to research on practices, diagnosis and medicines – rather they are a C team of American innovation.

      1. All the political parties are equally responsible for the present state of education in this country.

      Ask yourself the role of govt – should they sell bus tickets, should they factories (reservations and more ills), should they run schools (then why are we going private), should they restaurants (jayalalitha in chennai – someday will be nationalised), should they run universities (US govt is much richer and doesnt run even one university) – if govt does all this, what are we people supposed to do – just buy things and sell things. We need leaders and risk takers who dont depend on govt salaries to do these things.

      India as a country is failing its producers (farmers and manufacturers) and currency problems are ahead unless we have a great agriculture season.

      Lastly, If congress is the problem of this country, Modi or BJP is definitely not the solution.

      Thank you.

       
  6. sharath

    July 23, 2013 at 3:40 am

    Syed – exactly what you wanted to hear should be typed probly – the guy deleted my comments though there was nothing offensive. i mean cant you even hold a discussion and you want to be a critical writer? this explains it all.

     
    • Ali Hussaini

      July 23, 2013 at 11:24 am

      Dear Sharath, I did not delete your comment. My blog has a setting wherein every comment has to be manually approved by me before it appears in comments section. I have this setting because I know my blog will attract trolls and abusive sanghis. So I have to control the comments.

      Looks like you jump to conclusions too soon 🙂

      Anyways I appreciate your criticism. Thank you for taking out time and reading my piece. Cheers 🙂

       

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